Broken Thumb Blog - Personal Musings

Say What, Your Holiness?

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Mon, 17 May 2010 21:12:05 -0400

The Pope, in Portugal, claimed abortion and gay marriage to be among the most dangerous threats on earth. Interesting.

I suspect the Pope, having a hotline to God, must have heard of this imminent gay threat from Him. Because I have to believe that in his infallible knowledge, the Pope knows Europe is on the verge of a financial catastrophe. I suspect that he has been informed by someone at the Vatican that the government in Thailand is basically a shambles and there's a real possibility of continued political violence. I suspect that he has been told by at least one or two of the American cardinals that there are hundreds of thousands of troops, American troops -- constituting the most formidable army in the world -- occupying two countries in the Middle East. I suspect someone mentioned to him that there is a hole in the earth, a mile below the ocean, which is spewing raw oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

Apparently, not. It seems the Pope actually knows little about the current state of world affairs, except this one thing. He knows that for five centuries the Church has been fighting a losing battle for the soul of Western Civilization. He knows there was a time when the Church controlled every aspect of life in Europe and its political dependencies. A person was not a person until his baptism. That same could not leave earth (for the wonders of Heaven) without his last rites and a burial in dirt blessed by the Church. Anyone lucky enough to be educated recieved his education from the Church. Meanwhile, the great masses who lacked education were involved in an economy related to the building of Europe's cathedrals and feeding its pilgrims. Charity was dispensed by the Church or at its doors. It consecrated wars. And of course it defined the family in terms of the sacrament of marriage -- in so doing, it legitimized the movement of titles and property from one generation to the next. Children born outside the bonds of Church-sponsored matrimony were deemed illegitimate and often became orpans (wards of the Church) to avoid the inconvenience they might cause their "alduterous" or "fornicating" parents.

But science and the printing press began the end of the Church's grip on the lives of Europeans. With time, rational government co-opted the prerogatives of the Church. The State now issues birth certificates and death certificates. The State provides pensions and poor relief. The State provides education to the people. The State governs economic affairs. The State gives license to marry.

The Church has remained relevant under the ascendancy of the State so long as it has been allowed to exercise cultural control over marriage. This relevance is now become marginal, at best. When the State moves from honoring the Church's notion of marriage to honoring its people's notions of marriage, then the Church will become finally and completely irrelevant. The Pontiff, if he knows nothing else, knows that the advent of gay marriage is not truly a threat to the world. But it is an absolute threat to his Church.

Nihil Humani Mihi Alienum Est

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Mon, 03 May 2010 16:28:00 -0400

Being human is no comfortable state of being. It requires compassion, tolerance, temperance, resilience and patience--none of which is easy to achieve. And these traits are regularly tested because we live in a world full of people similarly struggling with their humanity. It is difficult to suffer the intolerant, to have compassion for the cruel, or to be temperate in the face of extremism.

My friend Tyson once asked me how I reconcile an obvious misanthropy with my secular humanism, and I had no answer for him. For the few weeks following I turned my mental energies toward understanding how it is that I am able to do so. I considered my opinions on mob mentality, individual liberty, free will, tyranny, democracy, republicanism, distribution of wealth, persistence of poverty, crime, war, religion, art, and literature. The exercise was neither comprehensive or strictly organized. It occurred in disjointed moments on the subway, during lunchbreaks, and through conversations with friends.

Tyson's question forced me to evaluate the two facets of my worldview. The first is that people, when left to their own devices, are selfish and self-serving. They seize advantages which accrue benefits to themselves and think little of the consequence to others. In such a world, each of us is responsible for his own safety. Each of us must be constantly vigilant to avoid becoming victims of another's greed, perfidy, or general machinations. The second is that we love success, beauty, and happiness. We have created institutions to pursue and secure personal liberty. Our great artists have wrought masterworks in paint, prose, and poetry. Charity and generosity surface in moments of great calamity.

Knowing these two things, and recognizing man's deep capacity for each, I accept that we must allow people to be what they are. To tame man's negative spirits tames all of man's spirits. We must seek a middle point where our basest motivations are balanced by our noblest pursuits, and when behavior becomes destructive to the social order (rape, murder, theft, fraud) we must condemn and contain it. Otherwise the relative anarchy of pure self-interest will crowd out the beautiful things in life -- no artist will display work which the vandal has equal right to destroy.

So I answered Tyson's original question to my own satisfaction. Nonetheless, I still wonder, "How do we best encourage man's greatness in a healthy productive society? What form does that society take? Can it ever be free of crime? of poverty? Would we honestly want it to be?"

I don't have the answers to these questions yet. But I'll keep thinking, and as I form my opinions, you can expect me to share them.

What to say

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:09:00 -0500

I was just reading through my archives. Some of this stuff was pretty good. Since I included "writing more" among my New Year's resolutions, I need to increase the frequency of the graffiti here. I'll post some of what I've published on facebook. I'll also post those self-same resolutions.

Conflating the lack of writing with a lack of time is weak. The blog is a decent medium which I ought to employ more.

No regrets? Maybe once.

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:34:10 -0400

I have, so much as possible, tried to live a life without regrets. As a result, I have given the big decisions in my life all the attention they need so that I haven't had to regret them. And once a decision has been made, I have accepted all the ugly consequences I overlooked. I believe regret distracts us from the challenge of leading a happy life.

However, there is one bundle of regrets I can't overcome. Three times in my life I've made decisions to relocate (or not relocate) from one coast to another, and three time I think I've made a mistake.

Experience makes all things relative, and what I once considered to be the fault of bad timing now seems to have been more the fault of bad judgment. When I was younger, I was impetuous and a little short-sighted. I was closed-off emotionally, focused solely on how to make myself happy. I thought I had more control over things than I actually do, and I desperatley wanted to get someplace in life I thought would make me secure.

At 31, I feel I've mostly corrected these personality flaws. Though, I feel it may be too late to make much difference. I hope I'm wrong, but how does one seriously accept that his life is only just beginning in his early 30's? How does he prevent old regrets from spawning fresh doubts?

I know now that I made some bad tactical decisions in plotting the course for my life. But it's impossible to know how the arc of seven or eight years will play out. Ironically, only at the end does someone see the full impact of missed opportunities. I look back now and wonder where things would be if I had picked an alternative course on just one of those occasions.

If I'm lucky--truly lucky--maybe I can salvage some lost time. If I'm not, then I at least hope to make a final peace with my regrets.

Centered

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 19:43:28 -0400

I have found my center and become a gyroscope. Wobble me, bobble me; still it holds.

It's been three years since I came to Seattle, and (finally) I think all the nasty edges have been whittled away. There are still a few areas I'm working to improve. But, the legacy of other places and times has mostly been erased.

Before, I was cruel and impatient. My misanthropic tendencies governed my attitude. I was indelicate and ungracious in expressing my opinions. Slow to praise I would rush to criticize. Now I am tolerant to the point of impracticality. I consider the impact of my words and actions on other people and wonder how to be a less discomfitting presence. I enjoy the calm that comes from allowing other people their way in the world. If a thing is one I cannot change, there is little point in letting it knock me out of balance.

I mention all these things because they became obvious to me while in New York. In the subway tunnels it was common for the crowd to push around me, like a river runs past the legs of a bridge. I was slow and plodding quite nearly to being still. They were limitless and in motion. One evening as I was walked down Central Park West an elderly gentleman sped by me. I don't remember anyone lapping me in New York when I lived there, not even spry old folk. Once I would have picked up my pace, joined the crowd and run by, or over, anyone who blocked my progress. I certainly wouldn't have been overtaken by the elderly.

The hard part, I think, will be finding the right momentum to hold my center. I am, after all, become a gyroscope.

New York, New York

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 21:12:49 -0400

It's been a busy few days. But I think my New York itch has been scratched.

Though I consider the Big Apple to be my home, I'm happy to enjoy the fresh air and pace of life in Seattle for a long while more.

Seattle, New York. New York, Seattle.

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 17:48:21 -0400

I love Seattle, but I've lately realized that my true home is New York. It's a good thing to realize, but unexpected. Last time I traveled to the City, I decided I didn't want to be there; I chose to stay here.

However, I recently began questioning that decision. First I thought it was simply because I couldn't be happy in New York. When I first came West , it was because I hated the crowds, the filth they generated and the target they represented post 9-11. I desperately wanted to commute in a private carriage with reserved seating, a radio, and a place to put my bags. Here, the pace of life has helped me get centered. I've quit smoking, I'm eating healthier, I swim, I go to the gym, and I have time to blog. When the air smells of anything it's pine and rain, not piss and trash.

But in leaving behind all those people, by getting in my car, I was cutting myself off from the part of life that makes it so wonderful. All the millions of people in megacities enable a diversity insupportable anywhere else. Statistically, all manner of businesses, organizations, and activities are viable in places like New York simply because it takes such a small percentage of the population to succeed.

Living on the West Coast is very much a process of active self-removal. People exile themselves from public living. They commute in cars, often alone, and physically detached from one another. In subways and on street corners it’s the easiest thing imaginable to say “excuse me�? or “can you move to the center of the train?�? – a thing different, by definition, from the blast of a horn. And when West Coasters are not commuting, they wall themselves off in constantly re-decorated homes with immaculately landscaped yards. It’s easy to filter all manner of uncomfortable ideas and people without seeming too much of a snob. If you pick the right neighborhood, choose the right friends, and watch the right TV, life becomes a blissful little hobby.

Seattle has its charms, but great museums, dozens of old bookstores, and the thumpa-thumpa of global commerce are not among them. I once told Gavin that New York is a city with a park in the middle, while Seattle is a park with a city in the middle. I still hold that opinion. But now I miss the daily staple of unexpected events. I crave the barrage of uncomfortable ideas and a people willing to always speak their mind.

Having a car and wide open spaces has been wondrous. But I need to be around people; to eavesdrop their conversations held in Portuguese, Russian or Yiddish; to see them slink, saunter, scurry and strut along streets and in subways. I need to hear them yelling at one another and telling each other stories. I need to see middle-aged punk rockers loitering on 57th Street and silver-haired dowagers chasing down cabs. I need to be offended by the odd juxtapositions that only occur in New York. And I can’t do that from my car.

For now, I am happy enough here. I have a good job, a good life, and good friends. But at some point the detachment, the geographic distance, the personal isolation, and the cultural paucity in the Northwest will all become wholly intolerable. I will succumb to the draw of New York. I will go home.

Ick!!Ewwww!! Tax Day :(

nospam@example.com (Brian Gaither) — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 02:07:30 -0400

I filed an extension. I'm not eager to deal with the paperwork this year. Something about government spending on war, Medicare Part D, Gitmo, excessive regulation, and my general repugnance for politicians sapped my motivation to "get around to it." I'll report my income later, with the help of a discounted, day-after copy of Turbo Tax.

My intention was to blog about pollution in China. But that invariably led me to think about U.S. grain exports that may be needed to feed the Chinese (whose remaining arable land is being sucked into megacities). Then, I started thinking more generally about trade with China which meant thinking specifically about the federal deficit and the national debt. It all led back to the fact that today is Tax Day, which just wears me out.